I hate being trans, especially as a non-binary person. I am genderfluid: someone who can fluctuate between genders, whenever and however they want. I use all pronouns, but I prefer they/them. I hate it because some people don’t understand and don’t try to. I always believed that if I were a trans-man, it would be a concept that people would grasp so much easier because it is in the binary.
But, no.
I am a weirdo who believes they can shape-shift. I don’t mind explaining to people who genuinely care and want to learn, but being in a closet for over a decade fucks you up. It is hard to explain to people who live in this cis-heteronormative society — who can’t comprehend that gender is a spectrum. And then, adding sexuality on top of it is another layer.
Yet, I love being trans. The moments where you find your people, who understand where you are coming from. The gender euphoria of exploring clothes or expression outside the bounds of societal norms fills my heart. Even something as simple as using the right pronouns can make me smile, because then people recognize I exist. I am a person that is alive and well, not hidden away in a dark closet. So, who here is going to give me $10k for top surgery and testosterone?
Anyways, fuck gender and gender fucks!
Lydia Luo
Media Intern
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